


The Curse of Being Gifted

by MelissMySiss



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Blood Manipulation, Blood Powers, M/M, Mind Reading, Slow Build, broken souls, cursed powers, gifted humans, paralytic powers, slight mention of abusive thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-04-12
Packaged: 2018-06-01 08:11:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6510016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelissMySiss/pseuds/MelissMySiss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Humans once all had gifts to make life easier. But humanity can never really be trusted with power. All but a select few were left with gifts, but were seen as a curse. Some gifts truly were gifts but others were much more dangerous. </p><p> </p><p>Today our story focuses on two individuals cursed with two dangerous gifts Sugawara Koushi the ability to manipulate his own blood as well as the blood of others. While Oikawa Tooru is cursed with a touch capable of halting or altering any neural pathway or conduction system. </p><p>This is the story of how two individuals cursed with something so horrible manage to find one another and bring out the best in one another when all they can see is the worst.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT:  
> Check out the amazing artwork that exists for this AU [elloquench](https://twitter.com/elloquench/status/721388380647325697)
> 
>  
> 
> So instead of writing the AU I wanted to write... THIS came to mind instead *throws confetti* 
> 
> This chapter is pretty much an introductory chapter, kind of explaining the basics of what is going on and the further we go the more details we will see and more pain and suffering I will probably throw in there ha yay! 
> 
> Enjoy!

 

Long ago humans were presented with gifts. These gifts were meant to make life easier. But humans cannot take a gift without abusing the power and so all but a small portion of humanity had their gifts taken away. The rest of humanity was left with the shameful curse of being extraordinary. These individuals were cast away. Shamed. Many were hunted down. Others survived by hiding.

 

Now in the present a variety of people with gifts still exist. They are not frowned upon unless they are considered “dangerous.” Dangerous meaning that if the individual used their gift improperly they could cause serious harm to another or even worse, kill them.

 

Sugawara Koushi is one of the individuals born with an ability that could very easily harm or kill dozens. He has the ability to manipulate the his own and the blood of others.

 

Suga is born with countless scars running up his arms, around his neck, down his legs, and across his chest. And one running across his cheek. His parents think something is wrong when Suga is born, and of course the doctors tell them that something is. They fear that he is a gifted human. The doctors warn the Sugawaras of what could happen if Suga has a “dangerous” gift. Suga’s parents shrug it off stating that they will never let that interfere with their son’s life.

 

Suga grows with observant and careful parents constantly watching over him waiting for the day that something happens.

 

Suga’s scars bleed constantly, Suga is always pale and constantly in need of iron. He has to eat constantly and he has to bandage his entire body to prevent himself from bleeding out.

 

Suga finds out what he can do one day when he is sitting watching the water of a small pond by where he lives. When some of the older neighborhood kids come to tease him.

 

“Look who it is?” One of them shouts and shoves Suga into the water.

 

“Bandage boy,” another laughs as Suga stands in the water his bandages sliding off, “What are you going to do now?”

 

Suga sees that blood is seeping out of his arms and into the water below, he knows he has to go rebandage himself or he will pass out.

 

“Stop,” Suga states and the bleeding stops. The boys suddenly go silent and Suga lifts his arms to see the scars closing slightly.

 

The boys back away, “A gifted…”

 

Suga stares to them and raises his hands, “No I’m not!” But when he does so his arms bleed again and his blood spirals off of his arms and flies at the boys.

 

“Freak!” The boys shout and brush the blood that has splattered over them off.

 

Suga jumps out of the pond, “No! I didn’t do that!” But as Suga’s emotions escalate he alters the blood. It becomes more acidic. The boy’s shout as the blood erodes at their skin. Suga panics more and rushes to try and help the crying boys but they shove him away and run to tell their parents.

 

Suga’s parents do everything they can to protect Suga but in the end he is sent away. Sent to where they send gifted individuals who have no control over what they can do. It is not a school. It is a test lab. Initially designed to help children who were born with abilities understand what they can do, but transformed into something worse.

 

Suga is experimented on. Forced to use his gift for bad things. But Suga is not a bad person and he would never do the things they make him do. And though everything inside the facility causes Suga nothing but suffering… He knows that when he finally leaves he will finally have control over who he is.

 

Suga is released a broken individual when he is old enough to go to high school.

 

He goes to Karasuno. He is still bandaged to prevent the bleeding and to hide what he looks like. Though he has more control over the constant bleeding he isn’t going to let anyone see what he is.

 

Karasuno is kind. They accept Suga instantly and help him. They don’t believe that Suga would ever hurt them. Suga is nothing but kind, and they see how terrified of himself he is. They want to help him feel safe after the entire world has made him feel like a threat.

 

In Suga’s third year, Hinata joins who is also gifted but not like Suga. Hinata isn’t considered dangerous. Hinata really is a child of sunshine. He can alter light. Hinata has never met someone like Suga and is fascinated by what he says he can do. But Suga will never show what he can do. Not after what they made him do and not after what he did to those kids on accident.

 

Hinata uses his gift so freely so openly Suga can’t help but be a little jealous. He wants that. Freedom. But he is trapped behind bandages and pain.

 

Suga fears that he will never ever be happy. Because even though he knows his friends and the volleyball club and his parents all care about him, he still fears that they are terrified of what he might do. And Suga fears what, he knows now, he is capable of doing.

 

~~

 

Oikawa Tooru was also born with a feared and dangerous gift. Touch sensitive. His gift is a paralytic touch. Anyone he touches he can halt or stop different neural pathways. He can paralyze someone, he can prevent someone from being able to see, he can stop whichever pathways he chooses leading to loss of sensation or death in the individual.

 

However, Oikawa does not know the full extent of what he really can do. And though he has the potential to halt different pathways, all he thinks he can do is stop the heart, lungs, or shut down the entire body.

 

Oikawa was not sent away like Koushi because his parents kept him locked up. So Oikawa only had attic mice to practice and gain an understanding of his gift. Oikawa is let out in middle school and he wears gloves, and long sleeves. He won’t let anyone touch him. He knows what happens when he touches others by accident and he never wants to harm anyone for fear of being sent away.

 

Iwaizumi happens to be gifted as well. A rare gift that never would have revealed itself if it weren’t for Oikawa. Oikawa had dropped one of his gloves and Iwaizumi handed it back to him Oikawa and Iwaizumi touched hands and Oikawa almost starts crying and apologizing to Iwaizumi.

 

“What’s wrong?” Iwaizumi asks.

 

“You… You’re ok?” Oikawa asks.

 

“Should I not be?” Iwaizumi asks.

 

Iwaizumi can nullify the abilities of others with his own touch. Oikawa has found the first person he can touch, hold hands with, hug… Without hurting them.

 

~

 

If you have a dangerous gift you are not sent away until you cause trouble. This is why Oikawa was locked away by his parents for so long. He found ways to prevent the use of his ability, by wearing gloves and covering all of his skin, but this never stopped it completely. And though he could practice his gift on the mice that ran through the attic he never really got full control over it.

 

Oikawa's parents were hesitant to let Oikawa go to school but once Oikawa tells them of the boy who can nullify his gift they relax.

 

Oikawa and Iwaizumi become inseparable. Oikawa is still Oikawa, whiny, teasing and a bit of a child. Iwaizumi finds him annoying at times but also knows that without Iwaizumi around, Oikawa wouldn't really be able to be himself. Oikawa insists that he hold hands with Iwaizumi because he feels safe that way. He knows that he can't hurt anyone. Iwaizumi only rolls his eyes and agrees.

 

Through middle school Oikawa and Iwaizumi start volleyball together. Oikawa is always careful and he wears gloves his first year afraid of what will happen if he accidentally bumps into a teammate. But when Oikawa stays late to practice his serves he sees how much easier it is to play without the gloves.

 

In his second year of middle school Oikawa tells Iwaizumi he wants to try and play volleyball without gloves. Iwaizumi agrees that it will be easier for Oikawa but warns him to be careful because Oikawa doesn't really understand the full extent of what he can do.

 

Everyone is kind to Oikawa and careful around him. They always hold back before giving high fives and friendly pats on the arm. Oikawa has a few close calls almost brushing fingers with his teammates when they hand him the ball. But flinching away saves all those almost accidents.

 

It is not until his third year that Oikawa makes a mistake. Kageyama Tobio has no gift other than being naturally gifted at volleyball. He gets under Oikawa's skin. Kageyama looks up to Oikawa and offers to help him control his gift. Oikawa wants no such thing.

 

One night Iwaizumi happens to be waiting outside for Oikawa when he hears Oikawa get angry. Iwaizumi rolls his eyes assuming he is going to have to talk Oikawa off a ledge again because his serve isn't perfect or some bullshit.

 

He enters the gym to find Kageyama smiling weakly asking if Oikawa will teach him how to serve. It happens in slow motion.

 

Oikawa pulls his hand back and then steps forward.

 

Iwaizumi runs but it feels like he is moving through mud his shout lingering in the air, "Oikawa don't!"

 

But Iwaizumi was one step too late and Oikawa's hand was already across Kageyama's face before he could realize what he had done.

 

Kageyama fell to the floor in an instant and Oikawa fell right after him crying, "Oh Tobio! Tobio! No no no no I didn't mean it!" Oikawa hovers over Kageyama his hands flailing at his sides.

 

Kageyama isn't breathing.

 

Iwaizumi slides across the gym floor and presses an ear to Kageyama's chest. No sound. No rise or fall.

 

"I..." Oikawa starts and Iwaizumi is already up positioning himself over Kageyama's chest.

 

"Go get help!" Iwaizumi starts pressing his body weight into Kageyama he shouts again, "Now!"

 

In the end Kageyama ended up being ok. But Oikawa's dangerous gift had caused a problem. His angered slap had sent a shock that stopped Kageyama's respirations and heart. And so the individuals from the facility for gifted children and adults come telling Oikawa that he has to come with them in order to get control over himself.

 

Oikawa's own heart stops. He can't leave. He finally has friends. This is the first time in his life he has been out and free. The first time he could live. He begs the men and women to let him stay and that he will figure it out. But they ask how he is going to do that when he can't really practice on anyone without accidentally killing them or causing them harm.

 

Iwaizumi steps forward, "He will be my responsibility."

 

"Iwa-chan?" Oikawa whispers.

 

"I can nullify the gifts of others. Oikawa doesn't hurt me. I will watch him and I will make sure he never hurts anyone else," Iwaizumi glances to Oikawa, "he's been trapped for so long he doesn't deserve to be locked away again."

 

~~

 

High school is just as difficult as middle school was for Oikawa. He can't touch anyone. He has Iwaizumi and he is thankful for that but Oikawa always feels that he burdens Iwaizumi. And no matter how many times iwaizumi shouts something along the lines of "shut up if I didn't want to do this I would have left a long time ago" Oikawa still doesn't believe him.

 

Oikawa wonders if he would have been better off going to that facility. At least then he could have controlled what he could do.

 

Because really other than killing and paralyzing mice and nearly killing Kageyama, Oikawa has no idea what he can do.

 

~~

 

Suga went to that facility so he knows how to keep his gift at bay and he knows what triggers it and how to control it. But sometimes it still acts up. He is only human after all.

 

His blood flows mostly in response with his emotions. When Suga overworks himself or gets frustrated at practices it shows.

 

At the match against the neighborhood team. Suga's emotions get the better of him. Not frustration but rather doubt followed by over emotional filled joy causes Suga's arms to start to bleed. He doesn't notice at first.

 

But when the ball is suddenly aimed right at Suga and he moves to receive he feels the ball fly off his arms and he knows. Suga falls to the ground feeling slightly lightheaded and stares to his forearms. Sure enough right where the ball hit his arms a seeping imprint of red is forming. Suga presses lightly up the rest of his arm and the same red pattern follows.

 

Coach Ukai halts the match and rushes to Suga, "Sugawara are you ok?"

 

Suga bites down on his lip and then looks up smiling, "I'm fine I just need a minute."

 

Suga stands his legs shaky and as Suga walks wobbling out of the gym he sees red seeping through the bandages of his legs as well.

 

Suga sits on the steps outside the gym knowing he won't be able to make it to the club room now. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath willing himself to relax and stop the bleeding.

 

He feels it slow and he opens his eyes again. Suga runs on hand over the stained bandaging on his arms and he glares at them.

 

Why did this have to happen to him? He didn't want this. He didn't want to have to worry about bleeding out all the time. He didn't want to have to constantly make sure his emotions were in check. And he most definitely didn't want to think about what he knew he could do.

 

The door behind Suga slides open and Suga turns to see Hinata standing there.

 

"Oh Hinata," Suga scoots along the step and Hinata comes down to take a seat next to him.

 

"Are you ok?" Hinata asks.

 

Suga shrugs, "I am not really sure any more."

 

"I know..." Hinata picks at the practice jersey, "I'm not like you in anyway. I don't have to go through what you do... But if you ever need anything... I will help you."

 

Suga feels tears in the corners of his eyes and he wraps an arm around Hinata, "Thank you."

 

~~~

 

Oikawa does not taunt Karasuno at the practice match. So Oikawa and Suga do not officially meet until the first real match of Karasuno vs Aoba Johsai.

 

Daichi goes to shake Oikawa's hand and Iwaizumi is there holding onto Oikawa.

 

"Let's have a good game," Daichi nods to Oikawa and Oikawa only smiles.

 

Kageyama is terrified of Oikawa. Because of what happened. In the match it comes across as an aggression to prove he is better than Oikawa. But really it is fear that if he makes Oikawa upset again he will come close to death for a second time. When Iwaizumi vowed to take watch over Oikawa he made Kageyama promise he would never tell anyone what happened. And now being this close to Oikawa again, well it scares Kageyama.

 

Then Suga is switched in.

 

"What's with the bandages?" Oikawa whispers as he watches Suga take the court. Suga lights up Karasuno's side with a smile unlike any Oikawa has ever seen and Oikawa is taken aback, "refreshing...."

 

'Mr. Refreshing' as Oikawa calls him isn't overly talented but he is reliable and he easily lifts the spirits of Karasuno's side. Oikawa can't help but watch Suga and wonder what is hiding under all of those bandages. Oikawa can't help but think maybe Suga has a gift.

 

When Suga leaves the court and Kageyama has relaxed enough to return Oikawa whispers to Iwaizumi again, "I think he's gifted."

 

"You do?" Iwaizumi snorts.

 

"Just make sure you shake his hand after ok?" Oikawa smiles and the match continues.

 

In the end Karasuno loses. Suga's emotions had been erratic the entire match and it took everything in his power to keep himself from bleeding. But at that last spike, Suga's heart dropped and he knew he would not be able to think clearly enough to keep his emotions in check and bleeding under control.

 

They line up and they go to shake hands. Oikawa shoves Iwaizumi to where Suga is standing.

 

Iwaizumi sees it first. The cut under Suga's eye. It is bleeding. The bandage Suga usually has covering the spot is gone.

 

Iwaizumi points to Suga's face, "You're bleeding," he reaches under the net with his free hand for Suga's.

 

Suga goes to shake Iwaizumi's hand with one hand and reaches to his face with the other.

 

"Oh," Suga lightly touches his cheek and then grasps Iwaizumi's hand.

 

It flows over Suga instantly. Suga falls to his knees in front of Iwaizumi and takes a deep breath. What is this feeling? It is like a weight he has carried his entire life has finally been lifted. Suga can breathe. He can think.

 

Iwaizumi holds onto Suga's hand as the smaller boy’s grip tightens. Iwaizumi has no idea what is going on but suddenly the silver haired setter is looking up to him tears in his eyes a smile on his face.

 

Iwaizumi pulls his hand out of Suga's hand and kneels down next to him, "What happened? Are you ok?"

 

It comes rushing back to Suga and it burns his chest. His arms and legs start to ache again and he can feel more blood drip down his cheek.

 

"You made it stop," Suga whispers.

 

"You are gifted?" Iwaizumi asks hesitantly, "Is it..."

 

"It's dangerous," Suga nods slowly, "but you... You made it stop... Are you..."

 

"I can nullify the gifts of others," Iwaizumi explains.

 

Daichi comes next to Suga as he and Iwaizumi are the only two still at the net, "Suga are you ok?"

 

Suga looks to Daichi and then quickly stands, "Yes... Sorry," and then he looks back to Iwaizumi, "Can I just hold your hand one more time?"

 

Iwaizumi ducks under the net and without hesitation wraps Suga into an embrace. That high of being free of pain and worry rushes back to Suga and he can't help but pull Iwaizumi closer.

 

Suga has never felt so happy and so safe like this. He wants to feel like this for the rest of his life. But Daichi taps his shoulder and he pulls back from Iwaizumi and he is right back where he started.

 

"Thank you," Suga smiles and then turns with Daichi to leave.

 

~~~

 

"That refreshing guy has a dangerous gift?" Oikawa asks later as the team heads home.

 

"His name is Suga," Iwaizumi grumbles, "And yes he does."

 

"Suga..." Oikawa is quiet a moment before asking, "Could you tell what it was?"

 

"I'm just guessing here but, it seems like it has something to do with his blood," Iwaizumi shrugs, "And whatever it is it's causing him a lot of pain."

 

~~~

 

"He made it go away?" Daichi asks.

 

"Yes..." Suga nods, "He can nullify gifts... Daichi it was the happiest I have ever felt in my life."

 

"Then maybe you should tell him that," Daichi eyes Suga carefully, "Anyone who can help you is worth befriending at least..."

 

~~~

 

"Oh you are from Karasuno," Oikawa is shocked to find Suga outside the gym of Seijou one evening, "Suga?"

 

Suga nods, "I was looking for... Umm he was number four... Iwaizumi?"

 

"Iwa-chan? Why?" Oikawa asks.

 

Suga stares to his hands and then to Oikawa, "At the match... Whatever he can do... It helped me and I..."

 

"You want him to do it again?" Oikawa crosses his arms over his chest.

 

"I mean I am not here at all to abuse his gift I just..." Suga shuffles his fingers more and he knows he is going to start bleeding again.

 

Oikawa takes a step forward and holds out a hand but instantly pulls it back and begins wringing it with the other, "Iwa... Well he has that effect I guess. The kind that you want. A feeling of being normal..."

 

Suga eyes Oikawa, "Are you?"

 

"Paralytic touch," Oikawa holds up his hands, "Iwaizumi really is a blessing to have around."

 

Suga frowns and holds up his arms, "Blood control. Or rather... I have to control my emotions so I don't bleed out. But I can... With the right emotion control my blood and the blood of others..."

 

"That's..." Oikawa tries to find the right word.

 

"Terrifying?" Suga finishes and Oikawa cringes Suga shrugs, "it's hard... I'm sure you understand. Where you ever sent away?"

 

Oikawa taps into the door frame with his index finger and looks away from Suga, "No but they tried."

 

“Tried?” Suga asks

 

Oikawa looks to the ground, “My parents locked me away because when I was born I would reach out and touch people and they would have that feeling like their hand or foot had fallen asleep. As I got older… Well we had a dog, let’s just put it that way. My parents were terrified and well they didn’t want to be seen with a son who could do what I could do and locked me away….”

 

Suga is silent so Oikawa continues, “They let me out in middle school. I met Iwa he helped me and then my third year… I… I did something, the people came they wanted to take me away but I didn’t want to go. Iwaizumi promised to look after me… Sometimes though I wish I had gone, maybe then at least I could know what I can do and how to stop it.”

 

Suga takes a hesitant step forward and reaches for Oikawa but Oikawa shoots backwards again, Suga closes his hand, “I… I’m sorry that, that must be horrible.”

 

Oikawa nods, “It is, but what about you were you sent away?”

 

“Yes,” Suga exhales and wraps his arms around himself, “But even though I know what I can do and how to stop it… It doesn’t always help.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“It is mostly fueled by emotions and if I don’t will myself to think clearly I just sort of bleed.”

 

“But… They sent you away.”

 

“They did,” Suga holds one of his arms out and peels away the bandaging Oikawa gasps as he stares to the hundreds of scars running up Suga’s arm. Suga holds his other hand over his forearm, “This is why.”

 

Oikawa watches as the scars split and Suga’s arm starts to bleed. Then the blood seemingly floats as Suga pulls his other hand away, the blood flows with Suga’s hand. With one swift movement Suga flings the blood into the wall next to the two boys. Suga motions Oikawa over and points to where the blood has splattered.

 

Oikawa gasps as he watches the wall start to erode away, “How?”

 

“Blood ph can be altered, in a person it can be life threatening if the ph rises or falls even just a fraction out of the range,” Suga then gestures to the wall, “This is what it could do inside of someone, or to someone…”

 

“Did you…” Oikawa gestures to the wall.

 

“That’s why they sent me away, or took me away rather,” Suga begins re-bandaging his arm then looks to Oikawa, “I know you want to know what you can do but… Don’t ever go.”

 

Oikawa is about to ask what Suga means by that when Iwaizumi’s voice stops him, “Oh there you are I was- Oh Sugawara…”

 

Suga flushes and walks to Iwaizumi he reaches for Iwaizumi’s hands but then realizes how forward he is being and stops, “I’m sorry… I just…”

 

Iwaizumi’s gaze softens and he reaches for Suga’s hands Suga inhales sharply, “It’s ok.”

 

“I wish I could feel like this forever,” Suga mumbles staring at his and Iwaizumi’s hands.

 

“Is it really that painful?” Oikawa asks stepping over next to Suga.

  
Suga glances back to Oikawa, “You have no idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooo
> 
> Ok honestly I have no idea how many chapters this is going to end up being so yay for that! Hopefully I will stay consistent with updates *shrugs* who knows 
> 
> Anywho if you see any mistakes don't be shy to point them out, I will fix them :)
> 
> Also feel free to yell about this AU/oisuga/haikyuu with me on twitter [ MissyShadix](https://twitter.com/MissyShadix)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More gifted individuals making an appearance this chapter and also I have no idea how to tag this but there is a mention of abusive thoughts in this chapter, so just a warning also there is a little bit of anxiety in this chapter so warning for that as well. Nothing too triggering I hope but just a fyi. 
> 
> (if anyone wants me to tag this differently or make it more clear PLEASE let me know)
> 
> Ok here we go chapter 2! 
> 
> Also thanks to [Lilibee](https://twitter.com/nugabug) and 
> 
> [Elloquench](https://twitter.com/elloquench)
> 
> They gave me the idea for what to do for Yachi! So thanks to those two!!
> 
> ENJOY!!

“This is Yachi Hitoka,” Kiyoko moves to the side to reveal a small blonde first year girl shaking behind her. 

 

Everyone shouts a hello and moves closer to her, but as they go to ask her questions she instantly closes her eyes and stumbles backwards out of the gym her hands slamming to the sides of her face to cover her ears. 

 

“Hitoka are you ok?” Kiyoko asks turning after Yachi and offering a hand to the trembling first year. 

 

Yachi shakes her head and continues stepping backwards until she stops in the middle of the covered pathway to the gym. She takes several deep breaths before slowly pulling her hands from her ears. Her eyes are watering and Kiyoko steps quickly to the first year. 

 

“Are you ok?” Kiyoko asks setting her hands on Yachi’s shoulders. 

 

Yachi flushes light pink at the contact and stutters, “Y-yes so-sorry…”

 

Ukai leans out of the door of the gym, “Everything alright.”

 

Kiyoko turns back to nod but Yachi backs away again covering her eyes and forcing her eyes closed. Yachi kneels down to the ground and rocks back and forth on her heels taking shaky breaths. 

 

Worriedly Kiyoko bends down next to the blonde, “What’s wrong?”

 

“I’m sorry,” Yachi mumbles her eyes still closed, “I… I should have told you…”

 

“Told me what?” The manager asks. 

 

“I have a gift,” Yachi finally opens her eyes tears pooling in the corners of both of them. 

 

“It’s ok, Hitoka, there are two boys on the team who have gifts as well,” Shizumi smiles softly, “What is your gift?”

 

Yachi’s eyes widen at the mention of others with gifts and she explains, “I can hear thoughts.”

 

Shizumi nods, Yachi’s reaction starts to make sense now, “I see…”

 

“It is only bad when I first meet someone new and hear their thoughts for the first time,” Yachi explains her breathing finally returning to a normal rate, “I hear everything and it’s so loud and sometimes the thoughts are so toxic it pains me, but after I hear them once I can tune them out, silence them…”

 

Shizumi offers a hand to Yachi, “Would you like to go try to meet the team again?”

 

Yachi sets a shaky hand on Kiyoko’s palm and nods, “Yes.”

 

~~~

 

“I can hear thoughts,” Yachi explains once she re-enters the gym and Kiyoko explains why Yachi backed out the first time. 

 

Noya and Tanaka exchange nervous glances before Tanaka coughs, “Like all the time? Or…” 

 

“No,” Yachi shakes her head, “I hear all the thoughts of new people all at once and then I can tune them out. After that I can chose who I want to listen to.”

 

“Don’t listen to those two,” Ennoshita smirks gesturing to Tanaka and Nishinoya. 

 

Yachi lets out a small laugh, “Thanks for the warning,” then Yachi stares around the rest of the team, “Kiyoko-san said that there were others with gifts.”

 

Hinata bounds forward glowing in front of Yachi, “I have a gift.” Yachi stares at the light spreading around Yachi and also feels how warm it is. Such a pure gift. 

 

“Stop showing off dumbass,” Kageyama grumbles and grabs the back of Hinata’s shirt. 

 

“I have one as well,” Suga waves to Yachi a weak grin on his face. Yachi notices the bandaging around Suga’s arms, legs, neck, and one bandage on his cheek, “I’m nothing fun…”

 

Yachi nods and watches as Suga wraps his arms around himself. Yachi wants Sugawara to elaborate and tell her what he can do, but from the looks of it he doesn’t really seem to want to explain. 

 

~~

 

It becomes habit for Suga to meet with Oikawa and Iwaizumi every other day after practice. They usually meet at the park near the bus station between Aoba Johsai and Karasuno. It is quiet there and no one is usually around by the time the three of them arrive. 

 

There is one bench that the three of them decide to call their meeting bench. 

 

Suga is sitting waiting at the bench when Oikawa and Iwaizumi arrive. 

 

“Hey Suga,” Iwaizumi greets him by setting his hands on Suga’s shoulders. Suga sighs and leans back into the touch. 

 

“Hello,” Suga breathes out smiling up to the third year. 

 

Oikawa waves, “Hello Suga-chan! How was your day?”

 

Iwaizumi removes his hands from Suga and Suga tenses before replying, “Alright.”

 

“Only alright?” Oikawa asks taking the far end of the bench while Iwaizumi walks around to take the place in between the setters. 

 

“The manager who will be taking our current managers place came today,” Suga begins, “She is gifted too.”

 

“Oh?” Iwaizumi asks once he is settled and opens his hand to which Suga instantly sets his own hand in. 

 

The relief washes over Suga and he explains, “Yes, she can hear thoughts, but she can tune them out after she hears someone’s thoughts for the first time.”

 

“That’s interesting,” Oikawa comments, “Is there a problem with what she can do? Or?”

 

“No it’s nothing like that,” Suga looks away from the two third years and stares up to the sky, “Even though she seems to get incredible pain from hearing initial thoughts she can get it to go away easily… I just wish that I could get my pain to go away that easily too…”

 

Oikawa and Iwaizumi share a glance before Iwaizumi speaks, “But you have control over what you can do, don’t you? Doesn’t that count for something.”

 

Suga’s gaze falls from the sky to the world in front of him, “I… I just wish I could live my life not having to worry about keeping my emotions in check. Not having to worry that if I don’t focus just the right amount of energy that I might bleed to death… Sure I can control what happens to me but it hurts to keep it under control all the time…”

 

“You’re lucky though,” Oikawa comments and Suga and Iwaizumi both turn to look at him, “That pain it means you can stop what you are doing. I don’t feel anything, but I don’t know what I can and can’t do. You can live life without having to worry about what you might do to others. That pain means you are keeping people safe, but I can’t feel anything and I know how much harm I can cause.”

 

Oikawa sniffs and Suga now sees tears on Oikawa’s cheeks, Oikawa smiles teary eyed to Suga and Iwaizumi, “I would give anything. I would feel your pain everyday Suga-chan just to know what it’s like to touch someone without worrying about what I might do to them.”

 

~~

 

A few days later and Suga is sitting at the bench again, he is picking at the bandages around his arms, thinking. He is thinking about what Oikawa had said. He would give anything to be able to touch someone. While Suga would give anything to not be in pain all the time. Suga didn’t want to compare who had it worse. But if Suga was born as Oikawa he was certain he would have wanted the same thing. Then again if things were reversed Suga probably still would have gone to get tested on he would know what he could do, Oikawa probably still wouldn’t know, to the full extent, what he could do. 

 

“Hey Suga-chan,” Oikawa’s voice causes Suga to leave his thoughts and turn to smile to the setter behind him. He stares at Oikawa and Oikawa answers the question in the air, “Sorry Iwa-chan couldn’t come today… Family issue or something.”

 

“Oh,” Suga turns back to look forward and Oikawa quickly comes around to sit on the bench. 

 

“I’m sorry if he’s the only reason you come I could have called or…” Oikawa runs a hand through his hair nervously. 

 

Suga’s gaze softens and he smiles to Oikawa, “No it’s ok, I guess I look forward to that part of this so much that-”

 

“You forget I’m here?” Oikawa cuts Suga off. 

 

“No it’s not like that,” Suga states quickly, “I guess I just abuse Iwaizumi’s gift and I forget that I do want to be both of your friends too.”

 

Oikawa’s mood lifts slightly at this, “Friends…”

 

The two share a moment of silence before Oikawa blurts, “You know I wish Iwaizumi was here, it’s not fair how much he gets to hold your hand.”

 

Suga feels his face heat up but he smiles, “What?”

 

“I mean,” Oikawa looks away from Suga but even in the dark light Suga can see the pink to Oikawa’s ears, “I haven’t gotten to hold your hand-ah- no I mean I just… I,” Oikawa leans back into the bench closing his eyes, “I want to hold someone else’s hand other than Iwa-chan’s gross hand.”

 

“I am sure you don’t think his hand is gross,” Suga chuckles a little trying to keep Oikawa from going down another dark road.

 

“I don’t,” Oikawa whispered, “it’s the only hand I have ever held without having consequences. It’s the only one I know.” 

 

Suga wasn’t sure if it was conscious or not but Oikawa’s gaze fell to Suga’s lap where Suga’s hands were resting. Suga feels his heart rate pick up as he looks to his hands, “H-have you ever tried stopping your ability?”

 

Oikawa sits straighter, “No Suga-chan I could never. What if I paralyze you? Or you stop breathing? Or you end up just like… No, no, no, no, I am not going to try holding your hand.”

 

“Sorry,” Suga states quickly, “I shouldn’t have asked…” 

 

Oikawa cringes holding his hands up and then pulling back, “No Suga-chan, it’s ok.” 

 

Oikawa won’t admit it but he wants nothing more than to be able to take Suga’s hand into his own. He wants to run his thumb under Suga’s eye along that cut that is sometimes covered with bandages. He wants to hold Suga in his arms. He wants to be the one who takes all that pain Suga is in away. He wants that more than anything. 

 

Instead his hand rests on the bench far enough away from Suga that he would never hurt him but close enough to cause a world of hurt for Oikawa. 

 

~~~

  
  


The week of the summer training camp is a painful week for Suga. Suga feels the pain inside of him more than he normally does. He blames it on the fact that he has gone to see Iwaizumi so much but he doesn’t admit that to anyone. The only one who seems to notice that Suga is a little more tense than usual is Yachi. 

 

“Sugawara-san, are you ok?” Yachi asks offering a water bottle to the setter one afternoon. 

 

Suga flashes a grin to Yachi and takes the bottle, “Fine.”

 

Yachi considers holding her tongue knowing that she doesn’t know Sugawara well enough to interfere with his life but she can’t help herself, “Is it painful? Controlling what you do?”

 

Suga pauses about to take a sip from the water bottle, he considers not answering for a moment before lowering the water and sighing, “Extremely.”

 

“What… What does it feel like?” Yachi asks cautiously. 

 

“It’s like holding something in, like words, you want to let them out you want to say them you want that weight off of your chest but it’s always there,” Suga tilts his head back staring to the high beams of the gym, “Before I knew how to stop the constant bleeding it was painful to feel so weak all the time. There really is no feeling that I enjoy out of all of this, but I suppose being in pain is better than bleeding out.”

 

“Mine hurts too,” Yachi comments softly, “Not in the same way… When I hear everyone’s thoughts for the first time it is like when you put in headphones and start music not knowing how loud you left it the last time. Those few seconds where everything is blaring around you it's terrifying and it hurts.”

 

“Does it hurt to stop them?” Suga asks. 

 

Yachi shrugs, “At first when I didn’t really know what I was doing it did, but now it’s almost automatic, shutting everyone out.”

 

Suga nods and can’t help the feeling of jealousy that starts to grow inside of him, “How did you learn to control them?”

 

“When I was little, I would cry because of all the voices in my head, the older I got the more I could understand what the words and voices were saying I would tell my parents what I heard my mom was worried I had schizophrenia,” Yachi explains, “They took me to the doctor and after some tests and lots of questions they found out I was gifted…. And I know normally they don’t send you away unless you are dangerous or cause a problem but my mom thought it would help me to send me to that…”

 

Suga watches as Yachi’s hands begin to shake and he reaches out to set a hand on her shoulder, “They sent you to that facility? Didn’t they?”

 

Yachi nods her eyes watering, “They helped at first. They taught me how to tune it out. They helped me learn all that I could do. Then-” Yachi stops to cover her mouth with her hand. 

 

“They made you do things,” Suga finishes for her. 

 

But Yachi shakes her head, “No, they did things to me.”

 

Suga is alarmed. He remembered his life inside of that place being forced through experiments to see the extent of what he could do. And he also remembered the occasional prod and test of the limits of what Suga could take but nothing that traumatized him more than what he had done to other people inside of that place. 

 

“What did they do?” Suga asks very carefully not sure if Yachi wants to relive what happened to her. 

 

“I guess what they made me do… It hurt me more than it should have, what they made me do did things to me,” Yachi whispers, “They would put me in a crowd with dozens of people. Big, tall, scary people, and they all had repulsive thoughts and I had to find the one… The one that was thinking about me… I had to hear what they wanted to do… To me… I had to do that and it traumatized me…”

 

Suga doesn’t even hesitate to come forward and wrap his arms around the first year, she shakes in his embrace. The mind was dangerous territory to walk through. Messing with the mind just right could truly harm someone. Yachi had been victim of that. Suga started to understand Yachi’s constant worry about hearing someone else’s thoughts. Because she had been forced to listen to the worst of the worst about herself. She feared what others were thinking and probably tried to run from everyone’s thoughts because of that. 

 

“I never wanted to think that people were bad, I always wanted to see the best in people,” Yachi grips onto Suga’s shirt, “But I can never meet anyone new without worrying about what they could possibly be thinking. I wish it was always quiet. I like it better that way, not knowing.”

 

~~~

 

Suga doesn’t notice until second time the play Fukurodani during the training camp, that the setter has quite the extensive set of scars along the front of his neck. The scars aren’t that old Suga would know. Recently healed, the new skin is still red and isn’t white yet. 

 

It is the ace of Fukurodani who reveals what those scars though, when after Karasuno finishes another lap of flying falls he comes to Suga, “Are you gifted?”

 

Suga turns to see Bokuto’s face he has no judgement just curiosity, Suga nods, “I am…”

 

“Oh neat!” Bokuto brightens, then he gestures behind himself, “Our setter is too!”

 

“He is?” Suga asks trying not to thinking of the scars he saw along the other setter’s neck earlier.

 

Bokuto nods and then grabs Suga’s wrist, he is pulling Suga across the gym and calls out, “Hey Akaaaaaaaaasshiiii!”

 

Akaashi turns slowly to face Bokuto but then he sees Suga with him and his gaze turns from an irritated grimace to a puzzled frown. Bokuto stops in front of Akaashi and then holds his hand out as if to put Suga on display, “Akaashi he is gifted!”

 

Akaashi’s eyes widen and he nods slowly, Bokuto pulls his hands in, “Akaashi is gifted too he is dangerous though.”

 

“I am as well,” Suga holds up his arms, “I bleed all the time and I can control mine and other’s blood.”

 

“Whoa!” Bokuto’s eyes widen, “That’s cool though!”

 

“Not really,” Suga sighs, then he looks to Akaashi, “What about you?”

 

Bokuto quickly moves next to Akaashi, “Akaashi’s vocal cords are crazy, it doesn’t matter what he does, speak, whisper, shout, he produces a supersonic screech.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Suga states and his eyes instantly fall on Akaashi’s throat again, Akaashi only shakes a hand in front of himself as if to say ‘it’s ok’. 

 

“He usually just writes notes,” Bokuto motions over to the Fukurodani coach, as he continues, “We have a white board over there that he uses.” 

 

Suga is about to ask another question when Bokuto suddenly sees someone he wants to terrorize A.K.A Tsukishima, leaving Suga and Akaashi alone. Akaashi lets out a breath and then motions for Suga to follow him. 

 

They stop at the white board Bokuto had mentioned and Akaashi grabs a black marker and writes, “ _ You were looking,” _ Akaashi pauses and points to his throat, Suga is about to apologize but Akaashi continues, “ _ Were you sent to that place?” _

 

Suga knows instantly what Akaashi is talking about he kneels down next to Akaashi and nods, Akaashi begins scrawling quickly, “ _ They helped me. I thought it was going to be ok, that I would be able to speak again. But just before I left, they told me to go into a room to practice. I agreed. There were children in that room. And they told me I wouldn’t get out unless I used my gift on them…” _

 

Akaashi stops writing and Suga sets his hand on Akaashi’s arm, “I know what that’s like.”

 

Akaashi nods and clenches his jaw he wipes the board clean and then writes practically smashing the marker tip through the board, “ _ I tried to cut my vocal cords out that night, I wasn’t going to ever let someone abuse me like that again, but they caught me before I could get to them. I still have them. I haven’t tried to speak since.”  _

 

~~~

 

Over summer break Oikawa finds himself considering more and more what it would be like to have control over what he can do. To be able to touch someone other than Iwaizumi. He wants more than anything to be able to hold someone else’s hand. To trace the lines of someone else’s palm. To hold someone close. To brush hair out of someone’s face. To kiss someone. 

 

For some reason the only someone that Oikawa’s thoughts keep going to is Suga. He knows why. Suga had asked if Oikawa knew how to stop his ability, Suga had wanted to hold his hand. But Oikawa had refused because he didn’t want to risk it. So Oikawa could only watch as Iwaizumi would Suga’s hand.

 

Oikawa is also jealous of the way that Suga looks to Iwaizumi when he takes his hand. Suga looks so at ease and so happy. Oikawa wishes that he too could be one of the people to give Suga that happiness. But Oikawa knows the only thing he would give Suga if he touched him is a run with death. 

  
  


More than once Iwaizumi offered all three of them holding hands but Oikawa didn’t want that either. Even though Oikawa wanted more than anything to hold Suga’s hand, he didn’t want to do it with Iwaizumi’s help. Iwaizumi had said Oikawa was stupid for not just letting all three of them hold hands, but even though Oikawa knew that was the only way he could hold Suga’s hand he didn’t want it to be. He didn’t want that to be how he had to hold Suga’s hand so he always refused. 

 

The busy signal from Oikawa’s phone finally ends and Oikawa reaches for his phone putting it off of speaker right as the individual from the other line answers, “How can I help you?”

 

“Yes I was wondering how one gets admitted to your facility?” Oikawa asks as casually as he can. 

 

“Would you like to report someone?” The individual inquires, “Has there been an incident with a gifted individual?” 

 

“No,” Oikawa feels his throat go dry, “I am the person… I caused a problem three years ago, but refused to come in.”

 

“Ok and what’s your name?” Oikawa hears shuffling of papers on the other line as he states his full name, “Oh yes, paralytic touch.”

 

“Can I come?” Oikawa asks.

 

“You want to come now?” The individual on the other line chuckles, “Why now?”

 

Oikawa swallows, “I just want to have control over what I can do.”

 

The other end is silent for a moment before, “Perfect we can come first thing tomorrow.”

 

~~~

  
  


“How’s the camp going?” Iwaizumi asks leaning back against the wall next to him. 

 

Suga stares to his free hand before answering, “It’s alright.”

 

“What’s wrong?” Iwaizumi asks worry in his voice. 

 

Suga takes a breath and holds it before confessing, “I guess I didn’t realize how much I relied on you taking this pain away.”

 

The line is silent a moment before Iwaizumi replies laughing lightly, “Between you and Oikawa I have a full time job.”

 

Suga too lets out a laugh, “Good thing you like us then.”

 

Iwaizumi rolls his eyes, “Yea good thing…” He pauses before asking, “But besides that is the camp good?”

 

Suga will admit he is learning a lot of new things and having fun practicing this much with his teammates, “Yes it’s tiring so that doesn’t help with the pain and all… But it’s fun. We might even give you all a run for your money at the spring tournament.”

 

“Oh will you now?” Iwaizumi grins into his phone, “I guess we'll just have to wait and see about that.”

 

Suga grins too, “Yes, yes you will.” 

 

~~~

 

“Oikawa Tooru?” A woman with dark glasses asks Oikawa. Oikawa steps forward nodding, she holds out a gloved hand and Oikawa shakes it, “We are pleased with your decision we will help you better than anyone else.”

 

It is finally happening. Oikawa will be able to control what he can do. Oikawa might even gain enough control to finally hold someone else’s hand and not just Iwaizumi’s. Oikawa can hold Suga’s hand. Those thoughts circle through Oikawa’s head and he can’t help but smile to the woman in front of him. 

 

“You are one of the few we have taken in who is actually smiling,” the woman smirks. 

 

Oikawa’s grin grows, “I just can’t wait to finally figure this out.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *gasp*
> 
> I know we have only gotten a few hints of how horrible the gifted individual facility is but now Oikawa is on his way there! What will he be put through!?  
> Find out when I update again! Coming soon hopefully *sweats*
> 
> Again comment if you see mistakes or something or if you would like me to tag warnings differently! (I will change them you just have to let me know!!!!)
> 
> And scream at me/with me on [twitter or ](https://twitter.com/MissyShadix)[tumblr if you want :)](http://missyshadix.tumblr.com/)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got this wiped out faster than I thought...
> 
> Well on to chapter three, big thing of this chapter is more understanding of what Oikawa and Suga can do so yay 
> 
> Enjoy and if you spot anything that needs fixing don't be shy to point it out :)

“Where’s Oikawa?” Suga asks the first day he goes back to the bench after the training camp. Iwaizumi storms around the bench his hands tucked in his jacket pockets. Though Suga wants more than anything to take one of Iwaizumi’s hands he knows now may not be the best time. 

 

“He ran,” Iwaizumi mumbles. 

 

“He what?” Suga feels his heart rate picking up and he knows that this shock will make him start to bleed if he isn’t careful. 

 

Iwaizumi laughs and leans back and then shouts, “That idiot ran away!” 

 

“Why?” Suga can feel his cheek bleeding, he reaches up to try and slow it, “Do you know where he would have gone?”

 

Iwaizumi glances to Suga and then moves over to him quickly and sets a hand on Suga’s face, “Sorry,” he mumbles and then adds, “No I have no idea. His parents don’t know. He didn’t leave a note. Nothing. He just didn’t show up to practice and no one has seen him for three days now.”

 

The relief that Suga has been craving for a week has him leaning into Iwaizumi’s palm, and he speaks slowly, “Did he take anything with him?”

 

“No,” Iwaizumi reaches into his pocket and pulls out a phone, “I found this in his room, I thought maybe it would give me some sort of clue to where he went, but no messages, no odd emails, he just called this random number the day before he went missing.”

 

“What’s the number?” Suga asks leaning closer to Iwaizumi and watching the phone as Iwaizumi opens the recent calls. 

 

“Some weird one, and he was on the phone for like two hours with them,” Iwaizumi is about to lock the phone when Suga grabs his hand and stares at the number. 

 

“No,” Suga lets out and he feels his skin go to ice, he grabs the phone and pulls away from Iwaizumi’s touch, “No.”

 

Suga jumps from the bench and starts pacing staring at the number on the screen. Iwaizumi stands and reaches for Suga trying to get him to calm down, “Whoa what is it?”

 

But Iwaizumi freezes and stares at Suga. Suga’s eyes are no longer the soft brown that could almost be gold that they usually are. They have gone dark and all of the blood vessels in Suga’s eyes seemed to have grown four times in diameter. Iwaizumi watches as Suga’s skin pales and his bandages instantly go dark red. 

 

“He went to them,” Suga speaks his mouth hardly moving. 

 

“What?” Iwaizumi asks nervously taking a step back from Suga. 

 

Blood begins seeping out through Suga’s bandages. It is draining down his arms and soaking through his clothes. It begins pooling around Suga’s feet and Suga grows ever paler. Iwaizumi watches in horror as Suga clenches his hand around the phone in his hand. Iwaizumi isn’t sure if it is fear or the light, but the blood that is pooling around Suga stiffens. Then Suga pulls his hands into his chest and the blood rises upwards. 

 

Iwaizumi isn’t sure what is going to happen but for some reason he jumps backwards behind the park bench and it is a good thing he does. Because just as he does so Suga lets out an angered cry and all the blood that has drained out of him rockets away from him and rains down on the park. Iwaizumi watches as the blood lands near him but luckily not on him. The blood causes the grass to turn brown and die almost instantly. 

 

Iwaizumi hears a thud and he peers nervously back over the park bench. Suga is collapsed on the ground. 

 

“Suga!” Iwaizumi shouts and vaults over the bench and runs to the setter. Iwaizumi kneels next to Suga and rests a hand to the boy’s forehead, Suga’s eyes return to normal and he begins breathing easier. 

 

“What was that?” Iwaizumi asks.

 

Tears begin falling down Suga’s face, “That… That is what I am holding back everyday of my life. It’s not just stopping myself from bleeding. But if I didn’t that… That’s what happens. I did that on a lower scale to some kids when I was younger that is why I was sent away… And that place where Oikawa is, they made me do what I just did… All the time.”

 

Iwaizumi helps pull Suga up and pulls him into an embrace, he rubs small circles on Suga’s back, “It’s ok,” he lets Suga cry on him for several minutes before pulling the setter back and stating very carefully, “We will go get Oikawa. We will find him. We won’t let them do anything like what they did to you to him.”

 

~~~

 

“These mannequins function identical to human beings, besides being made of nuts and bolts it’s pretty much a human,” the man next to Oikawa explains.

 

“So if I touch it…” Oikawa starts staring at the surprisingly life like mannequin in front of him. 

 

“It will react the same way, you touching a living person would,” the man holds a hand out to Oikawa, “Go on give it a try.”

 

Oikawa nods and takes a step forward and reaches out his hand to the machine. Then carefully he sets his fingertips on the skin of the device. Instantly monitors that the machine is hooked up to start going off. As the alarms go off Oikawa retracts his hand and feels himself about to apologize when suddenly the alarms stop. 

 

“Fascinating, you actually stopped the conduction pathway of the heart,” the man mumbles, “Is that all your touch does?”

 

“I don’t know,” Oikawa answers, “That’s why I came here. I… Stopped someone’s heart and breathing once. I also just killed my dog when I was little. And I used to make feeling go out of my parent’s hands or arms if they held me. And I would kill mice in my attic all the time trying to understand what I can do.”

 

The man is silent a moment, before thinking aloud, “It sounds like your paralytic touch is specific to neural pathways. And it sounds like you can stop different ones. The ones that you have stopped so far have ended in life threatening paralysis. All except the ones where your parents were involved. Seems that touch from someone else activates your gift to weaken or slow whoever touches you. But you initiating touch causes the complete blockade of a pathway.”

 

“How do I control it?” Oikawa asks flipping his hands over in front of himself. 

 

The man smiles and motions to the mannequin, “Well isn’t that why you are here?”

 

~~~

 

"They won't let us take Oikawa back that easy," Suga mumbles and begins biting at his fingernails. 

 

This facility is far from the city and though it would be faster to take a train the train doesn't go far enough into the country. Iwaizumi is therefore elected to drive out to the edges of Japan to find the place where Oikawa has run to. 

 

Iwaizumi turns his gaze to Suga, "It's going to be ok," Iwaizumi opens his hand setting it on the console between the pair of them. To Iwaizumi's surprise Suga merely glances at the hand a moment, hesitates and then looks away. 

 

"I'm just so worried," Suga whispers and bites harder into his fingertips.

 

"Don't do that," Iwaizumi scolds. Suga quickly pulls his hands to his lap and clenches and unclenches his fingers several times his shoulders rising. 

 

"Does it hurt?" Iwaizumi asks looking back to the road. 

 

"Hm?" Suga's shoulder fall a little, "When?"

 

"When your emotions take over, when you do what you did yesterday?" Iwaizumi questions not sure if it will make Suga more or less upset. 

 

It is silent for a while and Iwaizumi doesn't press on. He knows he shouldn't pressure Suga into saying anything. Instead Iwaizumi focuses on the road ahead. 

 

"No, when I do that, when I use my gift like that, it doesn't hurt," Suga breaks the silence, "Suppressing it is what's painful." 

 

Iwaizumi looks to Suga confused, "I don't understand."

 

"Oikawa's said he doesn't feel any pain with his gift, that's because technically he always has it ready to use," Suga explains, "When I was younger I was always on the edge of what my gift really can do. I don't just bleed because I have a low clotting ability I bleed because my blood is my weapon. They said that maybe when I was younger I still bled but it was easier to control because my gift needs me alive in order to function...

 

"When I went to the place we are going to right now they had me see what I could do. I found that I could move my blood. I could alter it. I could drain it from myself and use it to defend myself. Alter the ph, change the viscosity of it, alter the level of clotting factors... Lots of things. When I would do those things I had to feel a certain way. My body was more likely to produce blood and bleed in situations it thought I would need to defend myself. 

 

"Then they got me to do what I did yesterday. That terrifying thing where I pretty much drain myself of everything inside of me. The funny thing is when that happens it doesn't hurt. I don't feel pain. I hate to admit it but it feels almost as good as when I hold your hand."

 

Iwaizumi starts to put the pieces together, "So let me get this straight, your blood is your weapon? Your natural state is to bleed out in a way so that you can defend yourself? But they taught you how to stop it, and that suppression is the pain you feel?"

 

"Yes," Suga smiles weakly, "so simple is it not?"

 

"I don't know if I should ask or not but..." Iwaizumi lets out small cough and continues, "If using your gift makes you feel better, why don't you use it more often?"

 

Silence fills the car again and Iwaizumi only waits. It doesn't take as long this time for Suga to reply, "Because what I can do it horrifies me... And I try everything in my power to never let others witness how horrible and terrifying I really am."

 

~~~

 

"You are learning incredibly well Tooru," the woman who is helping Oikawa today comments. 

 

Oikawa grins and stares at the mannequin in front of him, "I wish I would have come sooner."

 

The woman shrugs, "It takes time to come to terms with what you are living with and sometimes people think they can handle what they can do on their own."

 

"And others can't," Oikawa's thoughts instantly travel to Suga. But he is brought back to reality as the woman gestures to the mannequin again. 

 

"You are getting much better at selecting specific pathways to stop, shall we try a sensory pathway?" The woman sets a hand on the head of the advanced doll. 

 

"Sensory?" Oikawa asks hesitantly, "Which ones exactly?"

 

"Let's go in order," the woman smiles, "How about the sense of smell? It comes from the first cranial nerve. Halting the impulses sent along that pathway would stop the sense of smell."

 

"Ok," Oikawa takes a breath. The ability to stop pathways is how Oikawa prefers to look at his gift now. Paralytic and heart stopping were, as the kind people who were helping him referred to it, his natural reflex ability. But Oikawa was a lot more than an accidental heart stopper. He could stop the pathways that sent signals to the brain in regards to sensation. He could stop someone from feeling intense pain. Oikawa could stop the conduction pathway to a particular muscle group, useful for spasms. Oikawa could also stop the pathways that sent signals to release certain hormones which could be extremely useful in many diseases. 

 

Oikawa had no idea how useful his gift really was. He wasn't really as dangerous as he thought. Sure his default was putting someone in a near death state, but Oikawa knew that if spent the right amount of time in this place he could change that too. 

 

~~~

 

"This is it," Suga comments quietly. The two volleyball players have reached the end of a dirt road to find a building. The building is four stories high and looks almost like the outside of a small hospital. There are no guards, electric fences or any extra odd security like that. No, Suga knows that they don't want this place to look as bad as it really is. 

 

"If they see me," Suga hesitates not sure if he should open his door or not. 

 

"Did you run?" Iwaizumi asks. 

 

Suga lets out a laugh, "No. I was released. But I don't know what they will do if they see me again."

 

Iwaizumi turns to Suga and holds a hand out to him, "It will be ok I promise."

 

Hesitantly Suga sets his hand into Iwaizumi's. Iwaizumi squeezes his hand around Suga's hand and finds himself leaning closer to the smaller boy. Whether it is consciously or not Suga starts leaning closer to Iwaizumi as well. The space between them closes almost as soon as they both can feel one another’s breath on their faces. 

 

The kiss is soft, and warm. Iwaizumi’s lips are rough and chapped while Suga’s are thin and smooth. Suga disconnects his hand from Iwaizumi’s and slowly moves it to the boy’s face. Suga runs his fingers over Iwaizumi’s cheek and then Iwaizumi pulls away blushing. 

 

“Sorry,” Iwaizumi mumbles turning away from Suga. 

 

“It’s ok,” Suga smiles and continues to press his hand into Iwaizumi’s cheek. Iwaizumi reaches up his hand and presses it on top of Suga’s. Iwaizumi smiles and turns his gaze back to Suga, Suga grins, “I don’t just like you because of what you do for me you know.”

 

~~~

 

“I was wondering,” Oikawa begins after successfully stopping most of the cranial nerves conduction systems, “Do you think there is a way for me to touch someone without stopping any pathways?”

 

The woman looks to Oikawa a moment before speaking, “You would have to focus the same way you do when you select a pathway. Like we have already discovered your reflex is to stop pathways that keep someone alive. It is a normal defense mechanism for most individuals with dangerous gifts.”

 

Oikawa frowns, “Do you think my gift, my body, will always want to stop a pathway?”

 

The woman shrugs, “You said you would make your parents sensations go numb but it would come back, that might be what your least harmful natural response is.”

 

“But they wouldn’t be able to feel my touch,” Oikawa turns to the mannequin. 

 

“No,” the woman agrees, “But you would finally be able to touch someone without causing them harm.”

 

~~~

 

“And how do you know Oikawa?” The woman at the front desk looks between Suga and Iwaizumi. 

 

“I took responsibility for him but he ran here,” Iwaizumi slams his hand on the counter and Suga isn’t sure if he meant to or not. 

 

The woman taps her fingers lightly over her keyboard before speaking, “Well patients don’t leave until we deem them ready.”

 

“What if Iwaizumi is the one who can make Oikawa ready?” Suga asks, “He can nullify Oikawa’s gift, that would mean he is safe to go out in the world as long as Iwaizumi is with him.”

 

The receptionist raises an eyebrow, “Does he want that?”

 

Iwaizumi glares at the woman, “He isn’t going to have a choice.”

 

~~~

 

The machines blare every time Oikawa tries to touch the mannequin focusing only to numb sensation. Oikawa is not very successful. He is shutting off different pathways without meaning to. It is starting to make Oikawa frustrated. Oikawa is about to turn around and ask for help when he hears someone else enter the room Oikawa is practicing in. 

 

“Someone is here for him,” it is a male voice and Oikawa pauses not sure if he should be eavesdropping or not. 

 

“Who?” The woman asks. The answer from the male is whispered and Oikawa doesn’t make it out. Instead he refocuses his attention on the mannequin in front of him. 

 

Oikawa closes his eyes a moment and thinks of the first person who comes to mine. Suga. Oikawa wants more than anything in the world to hold Suga’s hand. To make Suga smile the way that Iwaizumi can. To hold Suga in his arms. To run his fingers over the scars that cover Suga’s skin. 

 

With that in mind Oikawa opens his eyes, pulls his eyebrows together, and sets his hand on the chest of the mannequin. Oikawa can’t believe it at first, but no alarms go off signaling that Oikawa has stopped a pathway. Oikawa feels a grin spreading over his face. He did it. 

 

“Hey did you-” Oikawa stops as he turns to celebrate with the woman who was helping him but finds that he is alone in the room. The woman and whoever else had entered earlier are both gone. The door to the room is open. Perhaps Oikawa is supposed to stay here but his curiosity gets the better of him and he walks away from the mannequin to the exit of the room. 

 

Though Oikawa is happily believing that he finally knows how to stop himself from nearly killing someone, he doesn’t know that when he closed his eyes the woman left and when she did she turned the mannequin off. 

 

~~~

 

“Oh Sugawara Koushi,” the woman smiles to Suga and Suga feels disgust boil in his stomach, “You are here for Oikawa?”

 

It is Iwaizumi who steps in front of Suga to speak next, “He knows what you do here and I am not letting you torture my best friend that way. I said I would watch over him and I am not letting him hurt anyone or anyone hurt him.”

 

“Who might you be?” The woman asks, running her gaze up and down Iwaizumi. 

 

“Iwa-chan?” Oikawa enters the hall where the woman, Suga and Iwaizumi are standing, “Suga-chan? What are you doing here?”

 

“Oikawa!” Suga shouts and attempts to make a move towards Oikawa but is halted as the woman between them holds a hand out stopping him in his tracks. 

 

“Hey wait, they are my friends,” Oikawa quickens his pace over to the three in the hall. 

 

“Indeed, but they think that you can get out of here early,” the woman explains. 

 

Suga pushes the woman’s arm away, “Oikawa this place isn’t safe, it may seem like they are helping you now, but they will only do horrible things later.”

 

“But…” Oikawa glances up to the woman and then to Suga, “They wouldn’t would they? They helped me figure it out. I don’t just stop people’s hearts I can do a lot more than that. My gift is stopping pathways-”

 

“That’s great,” Iwaizumi reaches out and grabs Oikawa by the sleeve, “You can tell us all about it on the way home.”

 

Iwaizumi begins dragging Oikawa down the hall, Suga running quickly after them, Oikawa protests, “Wait I… I haven’t learned everything yet.”

 

“You don’t need to,” Iwaizumi snaps, “I promised I wouldn’t let you hurt anyone and you aren’t going to.”

 

Oikawa reaches up and pulls Iwaizumi’s hand away, “I don’t want to have to rely on you all the time though!”

 

Iwaizumi turns to Oikawa fuming, “I told you a long time ago that I don’t care! I don’t! I want to be there for you! I will always be there for you! Why can’t you understand that? I am always going to help you!”

 

“I don’t want your help!” Oikawa shouts, “I… I want to do this on my own.”

 

“Your such a pain in the-” Iwaizumi begins marching forward about to grab Oikawa’s shirt. 

 

“I know I am! That’s why I don’t want you to help me anymore,” Oikawa grabs Iwaizumi’s hands before Iwaizumi can grab him. 

 

“Tooru,” Suga whispers softly coming over and grabbing lightly onto Oikawa’s shirt, Oikawa looks to the silver haired boy and he drops Iwaizumi’s hands, “You don’t want to stay here though. They may be able to help you, but they don’t want what’s best for you. I know from personal experience…” 

 

Oikawa turns and grabs Suga’s shoulders, Suga stiffens clearly uncertain if Oikawa’s ability will go through his clothing, “But how else am I supposed to figure out what I can do?”

 

“Practice,” Suga states and begins raising his hands. 

 

Oikawa pulls back slightly, “But I can’t what if I do something wrong?”

 

“You can use what they taught you here,” Suga’s hands float inches from Oikawa’s face, “And you can practice on me. I trust you.”

 

Oikawa flies backwards from Suga and crashes into the wall behind him, “But…”

 

“Are you sure Suga?” Iwaizumi asks glancing between Oikawa and Suga. 

 

Suga takes a large step forward to Oikawa and nods, “Yes.”

 

The boys had almost forgotten that there was a fourth person in the hall with them until she spoke again, “How sentimental. Well if you trust him so much Sugawara… Oikawa why don’t you show them what you were just working on.”

 

Oikawa nods and turns to Suga, Suga hesitates, “What did they have you doing?”

 

“I will show you,” Oikawa takes a breath and reaches out for Suga’s face. Suga stiffens slightly waiting for what might happen. Oikawa presses his hands into Suga’s face and then pulls him closer. Suga’s eyes widen and Oikawa grins before pressing his lips onto Suga’s. 

 

Oikawa pulls back grinning, “That- Oh Suga!” Oikawa panics and lets go of Suga’s face. Suga has one hand over his chest and is falling forwards. 

 

“Sugawara!” Iwaizumi shouts and runs forward to catch Suga just before he hits the ground. 

 

Oikawa stumbles backwards and he can see it again, Kageyama on the gym floor. Iwaizumi running to save him. The angry parents. The adults in dark suits threatening to take him away. He went away and he thought he was fixed but, he wasn’t. 

 

“I thought...” Oikawa mumbles and feels his vision going cloudy with tears. 

 

“Looks like you didn’t quite figure that one out yet Oikawa,” the woman shrugs, “Looks like you will have to stay afterall.”

 

“Get help!” Iwaizumi shouts and Oikawa looks to see Iwaizumi reading himself to perform chest compressions on Suga. Oikawa stopped Suga’s heart. Oikawa falls to the floor and Iwaizumi stares at him, “Now! Go!”

 

Oikawa shakes his head, “I thought I had this figured out! I did it earlier…”

 

“That doesn’t matter now! Just go get help!” Iwaizumi panics and begins compressing Suga’s chest. Oikawa is frozen and Iwaizumi seems to realize this and shouts back to the woman in the hall to help or find help but she merely turns around slowly and vanishes down the other end of the hallway. 

 

Iwaizumi swears and continues to perform CPR. As he does so he feels something trailing down his cheeks. Iwaizumi shakes his head. No he wasn’t letting Suga die. Not today. He wouldn’t let it happen. 

 

But one minute of chest compressions soon turns to five, which Iwaizumi knows will only turn to more. He knows they need an AED they need the electrical spark to restart the pathway Oikawa had frozen. But Oikawa wasn’t going anywhere, no one else there, and even as Iwaizumi screamed down the halls for help no one came. 

 

“Oikawa you have to reverse the block!” Iwaizumi shouts through tears to Oikawa. 

 

“What?” Oikawa asks. 

 

“You said you block pathways, well unblock it!” Iwaizumi speaks he can feel himself getting short of breath the longer he performs CPR. 

 

Oikawa feels his own heart rate accelerate, “I don’t know how…”   
  


“Just try damnit!” Iwaizumi screams, “Suga was willing to let you practice on him! Don’t give up on him now!”

 

Oikawa stares down to Suga and notices that his normally pure white bandages are starting to turn dark red. Suga is bleeding out. Iwaizumi’s CPR may be something to help attempt to get the blood to circulate out, but it’s not coming back in. Not all of it anyway. And Suga isn’t conscious to stop the blood from flowing out of himself.  

 

Oikawa holds a hand up, “Iwa-chan… You are making him bleed…” 

 

Iwaizumi looks to Suga’s arms and pulls his hands back and sets one on Suga’s exposed skin, “Hurry Tooru.”

 

Oikawa clenches his jaw and reaches to Suga’s hand. Then he grasps it and as he does he sends all his thoughts to restarting Suga’s heart. 

 

There is a gasp and Suga’s eyes instantly open, he coughs several times and Oikawa instantly pulls his hand back. 

 

“Suga-chan,” Oikawa whispers he reaches to touch Suga again but he pulls his hand back, “I-I’m so sorry.”

  
To both Oikawa and Iwaizumi’s surprise Suga lets out a laugh, “You really put a whole new meaning making someone’s heart stop.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun times!? 
> 
> Haha well starting to put a little more of the relationship aspect of this thing in here, there will be more it is just kind of slow building...
> 
> Well now we have to wait and see what Oikawa will do next 
> 
> as always scream at me [twitter](https://twitter.com/MissyShadix) or [tumblr](http://missyshadix.tumblr.com/)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok this actually ended up ending sooner than I thought it would *shrug* 
> 
> Enjoy the last chapter! 
> 
> (At least I think this is the last chapter...)

“Ah Hajime, can I help you,” Mrs. Oikawa smiles to Iwaizumi as she wrings her hands. 

 

“Where’s Tooru?” Iwaizumi asks peering around the woman. 

 

“Oh,” Mrs. Oikawa looks to her feet and then back to Iwaizumi, “He left very early this morning said there was someone he had to see.”

 

“Suga,” Iwaizumi lets out while turning around and sprinting down the path to the street. 

 

~~~

 

“Good morn-” Yachi suddenly stops speaking and goes to grip her hands over her ears, then she looks wide eyed to Suga, “Someone is here Sugawara-san and they are thinking about you.”

 

Suga’s own eyes widen to the first year as she let’s her hand off of her ears, “What?”

 

“They are sad,” Yachi pulls her arms down to her sides and focuses, “They want to apologize to you.”

 

“Who is it?” Hinata asks looking between Yachi and Suga. 

 

Yachi closes her eyes a moment scrunching her eyes together, she stays like this for a moment before speaking slowly, “Tooru… Oikawa…” 

 

“The grand king?” Hinata shouts in surprise. 

 

“Oikawa,” Suga lets out slowly before dashing quickly out of the gym. Suga runs out of the gym shouting, “Oikawa!”

 

“Suga-chan,” Oikawa’s voice reaches Suga’s ears and he turns to find him waiting nervously by the entrance to the gym. Suga notices at once that Oikawa’s hands are clothed in black gloves. 

 

“Oikawa,” Suga repeats,”You’re wearing gloves again… Why are you here?”

 

Oikawa steps away from the gym entrance and walks slowly to Suga, “I want to apologize for what I did, you told me not to go to that place and I went anyway. And I thought that I was better that I knew what I was doing but I almost killed you.”

 

“Please don’t blame yourself,” Suga steps quickly to Oikawa and reaches to his face Oikawa pulls back so Suga’s hands float down to Oikawa’s shoulders, “What happened it’s not your fault. I should have told you why you shouldn’t have gone to that place. They tricked you, they did it to everyone, they did it to me too…”

 

“But,” Oikawa moves to slowly lift Suga’s hands off of his shoulders, “I hurt someone I l- Someone I care about and I am sure that even you haven’t done that… I have hurt too many people and I will only hurt more.”

 

“Oikawa,” Suga whispers his eyes tearing up,”I’m ok, I told you I would help you, I know Iwaizumi wants to help you, we can figure this out-”

 

“No Suga-chan,” Oikawa finally drops Suga’s hands and sets one gloved hand on Suga’s face, “I think it’s best if I just stay out of your life.”

 

“Don’t say that,” Suga shakes his head, “You don’t have to run away.”

 

“I’m not,” Oikawa drops his hand, “I’m not going away from everyone, just the person I care about the most. Because, almost killing you is the worst thing that has ever happened to me and I don’t want to risk doing it again.”

 

With that Oikawa turns away and begins walking away, Suga feels his arms starting to sting, “No Oikawa!” Suga runs after Oikawa and grabs one of his hands. Oikawa turns briskly and his hand slides right out of the glove. Suga stares at the glove in his hand and Oikawa stares at it as well. 

 

“Goodbye Suga-chan,” Oikawa grins weakly and then continues forward away from Karasuno. 

 

Even though every thought in Suga is screaming at him to go after Oikawa all he can do is fall to his knees. His grip tightens around the black glove in his hands and his vision goes blurry as he watches the brunette get farther and farther away. Suga can’t hold it back anymore and let’s his emotions get the better of him. 

 

Tears stream down his face and his hands fall forward into the dirt. His arms, legs, and his cheek all begin to bleed. But Suga does nothing to defend himself. The blood simply pools out of him and soaks into the dirt. 

 

“Sugawara-san!?” A voice and a hand bring Suga back from his current state. 

 

Suga looks up from the ground and through the tears he sees a radiating warm orange glowing individual, “Hinata?”

 

“Suga-san!” Hinata shouts and grips tightly onto Suga, “What’s happening?”

 

“I… Hinata you have to move away,” Suga whispers staring down to his blood, “Please just move away.”

 

“Sugawara-san!” It is Yachi she is running out of the gym and to Suga and Hinata. 

 

“Please don’t come,” Suga begs softly, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

 

“Yachi! Hinata! Get back!” Daichi is outside the gym now. 

 

Hinata releases his grip from Suga, “Why… He needs help…”

 

“Hinata get over here now!” Daichi shouts again. Hinata frowns down to Suga and watches as more blood spills out of Suga and all of the blood that has already spilled out of the setter starts to rise. 

 

“Please go,” Suga shakes and closes his eyes willing himself to relax and trying to get his thoughts away from defending himself.  _ Hinata and Yachi aren’t hurting me. Hinata and Yachi aren’t hurting me. Calm down. Calm down.  _

 

Suga does not see Hinata and Yachi run. He does not see his blood as it flies away from him raining on the grounds around the gym. He does not see the look of horror on the faces of the students walking around the gym. He does not see the pained face of Daichi as he holds Yachi and Hinata away from Suga’s blood. What he does see though when it is all over is tears falling to his hands, and then he passes out. 

 

~~~

 

Iwaizumi doesn’t comment when Oikawa arrives to school late and he sees his friend walking with his uniform jacket on and his hands gloved, one glove a slightly different color than the other. Oikawa greets Iwaizumi the same way, a cheery, “Morning Iwa-chan,” and a pat to the back. Iwaizumi grumbles a good morning and glares after Oikawa as they walk to their first class. 

 

The walk is mostly silent until Oikawa breaks it, “I know you want to say something.”

 

“Actually I don’t,” Iwaizumi sighs.

 

Oikawa bites his lower lip and then speaks, “I am only wearing them because I know this works.”

 

Iwaizumi stops in his tracks and Oikawa stops too, “You piss me off you know that.”

 

“Of course I know that,” Oikawa glares at Iwaizumi and then turns to continue forward. 

 

Iwaizumi grabs Oikawa’s arm, “You know that I can help you. You know that I have always helped you. You know that I will always help you!” Iwaizumi pulls Oikawa backwards and rips the glove off of the hand of the arm he currently has a grip on, “So why are you doing this?”

 

“Because it’s the only thing I can do to be safe around people who aren’t you!” Oikawa shouts and rips the glove out of Iwaizumi’s hand, “In case you didn’t notice Iwaizumi, I don’t really have control over anything, they made me think I did! And I believed them and because of that I almost killed Suga!” 

 

Iwaizumi grips tightly onto Oikawa’s forearms, “But you saved his life! You can do different things! Suga and I both want to help you figure it out! But we can’t help you if you do stupid things like this!” 

 

Oikawa inhales sharply and tries to pull out of Iwaizumi’s impressive grip, “I don’t-”

 

“You don’t what?! What don’t you want Tooru!!” Iwaizumi shakes Oikawa, “I know you want more than anything in the whole world to touch someone other than me! I know that I can see it on your stupid face! I can see it when we go see Suga in the park! I can see it when everyone gives high fives on the court! I can see it when you watch couples in the hallway! I know that is what you want more than anything in the world!

 

“I am sorry that those people are monsters and can’t help you the way that they are supposed to! I know that you wanted that! I know that! But they lied to you! They let you believe you had better control of yourself! I know you can’t go back there! But damnit Oikawa, I am not letting you give up on something you have wanted for so long,” Iwaizumi finishes and takes a deep breath in, “I’m not.” 

 

Tears fall from Oikawa’s eyes before he can stop himself, “Iwa-chan… What… What do I do?” Oikawa falls forward and Iwaizumi catches him wrapping his arms around his friend’s back, Oikawa shakes, “You’re right I want that more than anything. But how, how do I get that? And… I already told Suga-chan I can’t see him anymore.”

 

“Shhh,” Iwaizumi lets out into Oikawa’s hair, and rubs small circles on the setter’s back ignoring all of the looks he and Oikawa are getting, “It’s ok we will figure it out.”

 

Oikawa pulls back from Iwaizumi slightly his face tear stained and snot running from his nose, “How?”

 

Iwaizumi snorts a little, “Wipe your nose and pull yourself together.”

 

Oikawa runs his hand under his nose blushing, “Rude Iwa-chan.”

 

“I know,” Iwaizumi laughs and grabs Oikawa’s face and pulls him forward, he presses his lips to Oikawa’s forehead, “But you know you still love me.”

 

When Oikawa is released he smirks to Iwaizumi, “Who knew you were such a flirt Iwa-chan?”

 

“Oh shut up,” Iwaizumi shoves Oikawa away, “Come on or we are going to be late.”

 

~~~

 

Suga does not go to morning practice after what he did. Instead he was sent to the nurse’s office to regain his strength. He opens his eyes to find himself in the small office staring up to the molding ceiling. 

 

“You’re awake,” Suga is surprised to hear not Daichi’s voice but Hinata’s. 

 

Suga slowly turns his head to the side to see the first year sitting there nervously holding his hands in his lap, “I thought… Where’s Daichi?”

 

“I don’t have a class right now, he was here earlier,” Hinata explains a small smile appears on his face for a moment, “I didn’t know that’s what happens to you… I am sorry I should have left when you said so.”

 

Shaking his head Suga reaches a hand out to Hinata, “I’m sorry you had to see that, that doesn’t usually happen.”

 

Hinata takes Suga’s hand and rubs a small circle on the Suga’s palm, “Why does that happen?”

 

“If my emotions get out of hand my body and my blood’s response is to defend myself,” Suga explains, “I don’t always do that, but that is what I have to hold back everyday of my life.”

 

Suga feels his palm warm up and looks to find Hinata’s hand glowing around his own, “I do this to my little sister it calms her down... “

 

“It feels nice,” Suga grins, “You don’t know how lucky you are, Hinata.”

 

“I,” Hinata pauses his eyebrows knitting together, “It’s not fair. That this happened to us. It’s not fair what you have to deal with you’re so nice Sugawara-san.”

 

“Thank you,” Suga feels more tears in his eyes.

 

“I know that that dangerous thing you do isn’t all you can do,” Hinata looks to Suga, “I know you aren’t dangerous. I think that you think you are and that’s why what you do happens.”

 

Suga looks back up to the ceiling, “I thought that all I could do was that thing you just saw. But I got taken away and they showed me what else I could do, I was finally happy and I accepted what I could do… Until they made me use it horribly again and I never wanted… I never want to be that person again. I hardly use my gift because of what they did to me.”

 

“Doesn’t that make you always afraid though?” Hinata asks, Suga merely tilts his face back to Hinata, “If you are always afraid of yourself doesn’t that affect your emotions? You would always be one incident away from an accident. I know you don’t want to associate what you do with what you did, but wouldn’t you rather make a difference with it than hide from it and constantly be one misstep away from hurting someone?”

 

~~~

 

That night Suga does not go to practice instead he takes the bus to a different high school. To a different volleyball practice. 

 

Suga waits outside watching Aoba Johsai practice. He watches Oikawa serve. He watches Iwaizumi spike one of Oikawa’s tosses. Oikawa is still wearing his gloves. He must have had a spare, because Suga is still clutching the one Oikawa left earlier. 

 

When the team finally takes a break Suga takes a breath and enters the gym to Seijou. He waits to see if anyone will notice him. Some of the first years near Suga go quiet watching him carefully. 

 

“Um Iwaizumi,” Kindaichi calls hesitantly across the gym staring between Suga and the co-captain of the team. 

 

Iwaizumi looks up and over to Suga, Oikawa stares to him as well. Suga does not hear what Iwaizumi says to Oikawa but it looks like Oikawa does not want to come over to Suga. Iwaizumi must say something to convince him though because Oikawa sighs and follows Iwaizumi across the gym and to Suga. 

 

“How are you?” Iwaizumi asks and holds his hands out to Suga. Suga stares to the open hands and for the first time since he met Iwaizumi he feels like he can feel that relief without gripping onto Iwaizumi’s hands. 

 

“I feel wonderful actually,” Suga beams and holds a hand out to Oikawa instead, “I feel perfect.”

 

Oikawa stares hesitantly to Suga’s hand and then back up to him, “I apologize for this morning Suga-chan…”

 

“It’s ok,” Suga steps closer to Oikawa, “I think I know what will help you.”

 

“You what?” Oikawa asks alarmed and steps away from Suga. 

 

“You are afraid,” Suga begins, “Whether I knew it or not, I was too. But this morning after you left I lost control of my gift again but then one of our first years helped me see the light, literally, and the only reason why I felt so much pain all the time was because I was afraid. Afraid of what I could do, and I know you are too.” 

 

Oikawa looks between Iwaizumi and Suga before staring down to his gloved hands, he closes his eyes, “It worked, when I wasn’t worried. When I was ready to figure it out. But then you came. I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to do it again.”

 

“Fear,” Suga nods, “It’s what triggers the defensive response, no matter how you felt you have, I have, always been afraid of what might happen, but,” Suga takes Oikawa’s hands and pulls a glove off of one of them, “You don’t have to be anymore.”

 

Oikawa can feel his heartbeat and breathing quicken, “But…”

 

“Just relax you idiot,” Iwaizumi smirks and gives one pat to Oikawa’s bare skin before letting his hand fall to his side. 

 

Oikawa glares at Iwaizumi a moment then turns to Suga nodding slowly, “Ok.”

 

Suga drops the glove in his hand to the gym floor and brings his hand back to float over Oikawa’s palm. Time stops for a moment. Suga knows that everyone in the gym is watching and waiting for what will happen next. Suga can hear his own pulse. He can see Oikawa’s fingers trembling. He can feel the tension in the air and the collected breath that everyone is holding. 

 

When it happens Oikawa can’t even find words to describe what runs through his body. He can feel Suga’s palm, he can feel the smaller setter’s fingers wrapping around his hand, he can feel all of the small calluses and dry patches on Suga’s palm. A gasp escapes Oikawa as he wraps his own fingers around Suga’s hand. Oikawa’s eyes grow wide and he tilts both of their hands upwards so that their fingers can interlock. 

 

“Suga-” Oikawa begins but is cut off as Suga grabs his uniform collar and pulls him in. Their lips meet and this time Suga doesn’t fall away. This time Suga stays. This time Oikawa appreciates the fact that Suga’s lips are thin, smooth and soft against his own. This time Oikawa can feel his heart flutter as Suga’s nose dips into Oikawa’s face lightly brushing against his cheek. 

 

Then Suga pulls away and unlaces his fingers from Oikawa’s. Oikawa is beaming but there are tears in Suga’s eyes, Oikawa moves forward and takes Suga’s shoulders, “Did I do something.”

 

“No,” Suga shakes his head smiling and crying, “It’s just… I am so happy for you.”

 

Iwaizumi comes forward and wraps an arm around Oikawa, tears in his own eyes, “I told you we would figure it out.”

 

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa coughs, “Don’t cry you look…” Oikawa lets out another cough before erupting into his own happy tears. Suga steps forward and wraps his arms around Oikawa’s middle, while Iwaizumi wraps around the outside of the two setters. 

 

The three of them cry and the gym erupts into applause and happy cheers. Oikawa presses a kiss into Suga’s hair before pressing a kiss onto Iwaizumi’s lips. Oikawa has never felt this happy in his entire life. Oikawa has never wanted to relive a moment over and over again until he dies. 

 

~~~

 

There is something beautiful in the way Oikawa, Sugawara, and Iwaizumi go about life from that day forward. 

 

Oikawa lives with more confidence and never worries about hurting someone again. 

 

Iwaizumi is always there for Oikawa’s low days because he can still be a little worried and protective of his best friend, can’t he?

 

And Sugawara… Well Suga lives his life never worrying about what he can do. He knows what he did but he will never let that stop him from doing better things instead. But there is one thing he will never tell Oikawa. 

 

And that’s that even though Oikawa no long paralyzes harmful pathways in anyway with his touch, he still stops something. He freezes the sensation. It’s temporary but it is a side effect of who Oikawa is. He will never truly paralyze someone again but he will always have paralytic touch. 

 

And Suga will never tell Oikawa that even though Oikawa isn’t hurting him anymore, when Oikawa touches Suga, kisses Suga, or holds him close, Suga can’t feel any of it. But Suga will never say anything because even if his hand hasn’t had sensation for hours it is worth it just to look from his numb hand intertwined with Oikawa's hand, to Oikawa’s, now, constantly smiling face. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha that's the end *jazz hands* (i think) 
> 
> Honestly I thought I had more planned for this than I did and then well sort of rushed ending is rushed
> 
> Well do tell what you think! 
> 
> Scream at me [twitter](https://twitter.com/MissyShadix) [tumblr](http://missyshadix.tumblr.com/)


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